Comprador
I am s**less and can not even touch a real woman or be touched by Her. Sniffing a Woman's worn shoe is Paradise. Touching a Woman's worn panty or bra is Heaven.
I have been asked recently why this is so, and why am I living the "pu**y-free" lifestyle. May as well answer the question here. Do I have small d*ck? No, quite to the contrary. Am I a bad lover? No, in fact way back when when I was s**ually active women were always very happy as my primary goal was to satisfy my partners, not my own satisfaction. Am I a loser? No, I have a very responsible job, am quite well known in my field, and make good money. So, what is it, then? Well, to be quite honest, I failed in my life as a man and a husband. It was my fault, and I admit to it. But I can't forgive myself for that failure, as being a good man and a good husband used to be my priority in life. So now I think that women are better without me and I am better without women. But I still have s**ual needs, and still have attraction towards women so I am happy to worship women's shoes and intimate clothing and live vicariously through other men's s** lives.
I also like to be abused by women, psychologically, financially and sometimes physically. I think of it as a just punishment for my failure.
Will this ever change? Perhaps, but more than likely I will remain like this forever. I have made peace with that possibility.