My Journey Towards Femdom

Buyer Dom/sub

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I have always been attracted to women's feet. This started as an innocent fascination at a very young age but turned into a s**ual desire in my teenage years. While my love for feet remained strong, I also began to be captivated by and s**ually drawn to dominant, yet kind, women. I didn’t know what this meant or why it was happening to me. Being somewhat shy in those years, I never shared this with anyone and kept it to myself. A secret I would take to the grave with me, I thought. As I'm sure all of you know, suppressing your kink is the most pointless thing to do! It doesn't work for anyone, and sure enough, it didn't work for me! All it did was make me go from one relationship to another while my s**ual needs and desires remained unfulfilled. Different women (all lovely and kind), different personalities, different styles, but the outcome was always the same.

Pulp Fiction

In my last relationship, I met a woman with whom I fell madly in love. I was trying to find the right time to tell her about my kinks, but it was such a deep secret of mine that even the thought of sharing it would make me shudder with fear. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided to set up a romantic movie night. The movie you ask? Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. The scene? Uma Thurman's slow seductive entrance. I thought it would be the perfect setting in which I could casually allude to how s**y her feet are and see my (ex)girlfriend's reaction. We were watching the movie, and my heart was racing as we got closer to that scene. My imagination was running amok about what will happen next. Then, Uma Thurman entered. Camera zoomed in on her feet, moving elegantly across the room. I looked at my (ex)girlfriend. She turned to me and said:

'Can you believe that some men actually like feet? How disgusting is that?'

I froze. The dark feeling of shame immediately took over and the only thing I could say was:

'Yeah, it's disgusting!'

She curled up in my arms and said in a low voice:

'It's probably some mental issue!'

There were so many things I wanted to say, but the only words that came out of my mouth were:

'It probably is.'

I hated myself for saying that.

I loved her so much. She was my best friend, my companion, the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thought to myself: 'So she's not into it. So what? I love her and that's all that matters. I'll just keep this to myself, as I have all these years.' This started a journey of 6 years in which I pretended to be someone I wasn't. As much as I loved her and she loved me, our physical intimacy was never where we wanted it to be. We both suffered, each of us in a different way. The day we broke up was the day I ‘came out’ to her with my love for feet. To say it was the most difficult day of my life is an understatement. She thanked me for sharing 'something so personal' with her but said:

'You should've told me this when we started dating. I have to be honest with you. I most likely wouldn't have been able to accept it, but still, you should've told me.'

And she was right. I should've told her. Out of respect for her, but more importantly, out of respect for me.

Embracing Myself

I decided it was time for me to acknowledge who I was. I owed it to myself. I owed it to the ‘child’ in me who had been suppressed, at times with shame, for so many years. I started to talk about my attraction to women's feet, casually, in circles of close friends. It went better than expected and I never felt like anyone was judging me. But my love for femdom still remained a deeply held secret. And a bit of a shame really. I didn't like humiliation, nor did I like any degrading language, but I thought that was all there was to femdom. There was no middle ground, I thought. I was inexperienced and didn’t have trusting people I could confide in for advice. I decided the only thing to do was to 'partially' accept my kinks. Embrace what I'm comfortable with but suppress everything else. I never learn, it seems!

After searching for, trying, and exhausting all platforms I could find online, I came across ATW. It felt different from what I had seen before. Here, I saw a community first and a platform for transactions second. I reached out to a few sellers, bought quite a few socks, some custom feet pics, and a few custom foot worship videos. It was an exhilarating experience, but also terrifying. I was scared because I was being pushed closer and closer to crossing a boundary that I had been avoiding all these years. The warm feeling of acceptance from the many sellers with whom I interacted was gradually guiding me towards it, but facing resistance from the fear that arose from years of suppression and shame. One day I came across a seller's profile that just captivated me. Her beauty and dominance ran a chill down my spine. I wanted to reach out to her, but I panicked. I logged out of ATW and decided not to think about it/her anymore. I managed to do it for two days, but when the floodgates of emotion are open, there's no stopping it! I went back to her profile again and again, desperately fighting the inevitable. Then the day came that changed everything for me. After typing a message and deleting it several times, I finally gathered all the emotional strength I could and sent it to her:

'Hey there! I'm interested in a femdom session in which I can worship your feet. But I don't like to be humiliated or degraded. Is that something you might be willing to offer?'

In sheer agony, I waited for the ‘red dot’ to appear in my notifications. And then it did:

'Of course, I'm actually more interested myself in the kind side of femdom. I'm available today if you want!'

'That's great! Would it be OK if I call you Goddess during the session?'

‘Absolutely, I'd love that! I can't wait!'

Two hours later, I typed these words for the very first time in my life:

'Good morning, Goddess!'

And then came her reply:

'Hello my good boy! I’ve been waiting for you!'

A decades-long weight was suddenly off my shoulders. The wait was over. I was finally 'home'!

Conclusion

I'm a proud man. In my personal life, I'm confident, intelligent, educated, well-read, kind, charming, good at my job, and although I'm getting old, I'd like to think still 'somewhat' handsome! But that's not all. I also love to worship kind, dominant women and make them feel divine by showing them my love to every inch of their feet. And one day, I hope I can find the right woman to whom I can fully submit!

After many years, I feel liberated, and I owe it to this community. To all the lovely sellers who do what you do every day. And to my first ‘Goddess’. You know who you are. You know how grateful I am to you. Thank you for helping me proudly embrace who I am! Thank you ‘Goddess’!

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