18039 views 6th Oct 2022
In the world of kinks, discipline and punishment can sometimes steal the limelight, and it's not to say they're not fun, but I wanted to bring to the spotlight a kink at the other end of the spectrum… the praise kink.
You might have heard it referred to as affirmation play or a “good girl” kink, but praise kinks essentially describe sexual responses to overt praise, compliments and verbal approval.
Some individuals – such as myself – love being called a good girl, or told you’ve done a good job. Others may become intensely turned on by exaggerated compliments about their body or the sexual acts they provide. It’s no wonder a seller may be drawn to selling as a release for this kink!
Most of us like being complimented, but a praise kink goes further… it elicits a sexual response. In my case, I only respond when praised in a sexual context. If I get praise from a work colleague or friend I don’t get stimulated, but there are others with a praise kink who will. Just like with all kinks, the praise kink is very personal to the individual. This specific kink, often referred to as a praise fetish, involves the desire for compliments and kind words, often within a safe and emotionally supportive relationship.
You might be thinking that someone with a praise kink would naturally fit better into a submissive role, but if you delve into it, exploring praise kinks can also bring sexual pleasure to doms from the verbal affirmation and obedience of their sub. BDSM is certainly one of the ways the kink can be explored, particularly with a submissive partner, but there are softer more vanilla ways too.
If you’re looking to explore it with someone, like a online girlfriend, I can’t tell you what will trigger every individual with a praise kink, but my own favourites go along the lines of:
“I’m so proud of you”
“You’ve been such a good girl”
“You did such a great job”
“I’m so pleased with you”
“I’m so lucky to have you/ I really appreciate you”
Remember to check in with your partner or whoever you are engaging in this kink with to see what they respond best to. Everyone has different triggers which show them they are being appreciated, acknowledged, and seen, and that’s what can elicit the sexual response.
Some people might enjoy praise about themselves in general, whilst others want it to be specific to sexual acts performed. Ask your partner whether they want the praise to relate to their looks, personality, behaviour or a specific role they are playing. Once you know more about their preferences, you can get really creative and tap into their sexual needs.
Not all praise needs to be verbal! Verbal affirmation in the sense of moans combined with non-verbal communication like eye contact can be thoroughly enjoyable for some individuals, as can strokes or nods of encouragement when performing a particularly strenuous sex act.
When it comes to praise kink, the right words can make all the difference. Here are some praise kink phrases that can be incredibly arousing in a sexual context:
“You’re such a good girl/boy.”
“I love the way you make me feel.”
“You’re so talented and skilled.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“You’re the best partner I’ve ever had.”
These phrases can be woven into dirty talk, used during role-play, or as a form of positive reinforcement during sexual activity. The key is to find what resonates with your partner and feels genuine. Whether it’s a simple “good girl” or a more elaborate compliment, the right words can amplify the sexual pleasure and intimacy between you and your partner.
At its core, praise kink is all about positive reinforcement and the pleasure that comes from receiving verbal praise and approval. When someone with a praise kink hears affirmations like “such a good girl” or “you did such a good job,” it can trigger a release of dopamine and oxytocin. These feel-good chemicals are responsible for the sensations of pleasure, reward, and social bonding, making the experience intensely gratifying.
Interestingly, the roots of a praise kink can often be traced back to an individual’s early life experiences and attachment styles. For instance, someone who didn’t receive much praise or validation growing up might develop a praise kink as a way to seek the affirmation they missed out on. This psychological aspect adds a layer of depth to the kink, making it not just about the words themselves, but the emotional and psychological response they elicit.
Discovering your praise kink is a journey of self-exploration and understanding what types of positive feedback turn you on. Here are some questions to help you delve deeper:
What kinds of praise or compliments make you feel aroused or happy?
Do you enjoy overt praise like “good girl” or do you prefer more subtle affirmations?
Are there specific scenarios where praise feels more impactful to you?
How do you feel emotionally and physically when you receive praise? Does it boost your confidence, make you feel relaxed, or heighten your arousal?
Reflecting on these questions can provide valuable insights into your praise kink. It also equips you with the knowledge to communicate your desires and boundaries more effectively with your partner, ensuring a mutually satisfying experience.
Consent and communication are the bedrock of any healthy sexual activity, and praise kink is no exception. Here are some tips to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience:
Have an open discussion about your desires and boundaries before engaging in praise kink.
Set clear guidelines on what types of praise are acceptable and enjoyable.
Use safe words or signals to communicate when you need to stop or slow down.
Regularly check in with each other to ensure both partners are comfortable and consenting.
By prioritizing consent and communication, you create a safe space where both partners can fully enjoy the experience. This not only enhances the pleasure but also strengthens the trust and intimacy in your relationship.
If someone has told you they have a praise kink, don’t be mistaken and automatically assume that means they enjoy rough play or power play. I’ve had older males mistake my kink as a daddy kink because I was seeking sexual praise from older men.
Or, men of a similar age to me assume that I want to be dominated or engage in something rougher than I want to. There’s nothing more of a turn-off than someone assuming they know what you want without listening to you. Remember to always explore kinks in a safe environment, preferably with a non-sexual conversation first.
As I’ve already mentioned, praise can be so subjective to an individual. Don’t assume that everyone finds a specific comment as praise. For example, calling a female a “sexy b*tch” might be a huge turn-on for one individual, and borderline offensive to another. If you don’t know the individual well or haven’t had the chance to discuss their kink yet, go in softly before ramping things up.
Whilst there is some evidence that people with praise kinks happen to also be people pleasers in their everyday life, there isn’t a clear correlation between the two. ATW is a safe space, where we all respect each other’s individual desires, so don’t jump to conclusions, or make assumptions about someone based on their praise kink. For instance, using terms like 'good boy' can be a form of verbal affirmation in BDSM dynamics, but it’s crucial to understand the specific preferences of your partner.
It is clear that those with praise kinks are great communicators and will certainly show you how much they enjoy your compliments, creating an excellent feedback loop in any sexual encounter. The more praise you provide, the more turned on they become, and they're more than likely to let you know.
As a seller with a praise kink, I like to let my buyers know, so that should they want to engage on that level, we can have great fun turning each other on ?
Any fellow praise kinksters out there, please do provide your own suggestions for ways to explore the kink in the comments below!
A praise kink refers to deriving sexual arousal from verbal praise, compliments, or approval. It involves receiving positive affirmations in a sexual context, such as being called "good girl" or being appreciated for specific actions or traits.
Yes, while a praise kink can be explored in BDSM contexts, it can also be enjoyed in softer, more vanilla settings by using affirmations and praise tailored to the preferences of the individual.
Join All Things Worn to explore a praise kink safely, communicate openly with your partner about triggers, preferences, and boundaries. Start with subtle praise and adjust based on feedback, ensuring mutual consent and understanding.
Yes, some people mistakenly associate praise kinks with other fetishes like dominance or "daddy" kinks. It's important not to assume someone's preferences and instead engage in open dialogue to avoid misunderstandings.
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